Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
