Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize