Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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