so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize