so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
