I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
