I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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