That's intense
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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