I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
