You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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