dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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