Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
