We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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