dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
