Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
