So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
