Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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