Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
