i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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