After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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