I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
