How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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