the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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