Pants 0. Shit 1.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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