So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
