dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
why is half of my head shaved?
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