so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
