get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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