Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
