jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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