Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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