your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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