there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
