i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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