You made me cry and you don't even care
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
