We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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