it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The air taste purple.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
