Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So vagazzling was a success
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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