im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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