At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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