; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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