3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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