Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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