Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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