I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
