So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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