so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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