ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
