No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
