So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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