I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
