You made me cry and you don't even care
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
