Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There r osticjed everywhere
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
