Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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