Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
