Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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