After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
