its not stalking. its research.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
