thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
