To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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