I think I died a long time ago.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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