Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
