Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize